The next day, I had to go to work. All day long, it was all I could do to not break down and cry. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but I had to keep the whole mess under wraps. I couldn't let anyone know that there was anything wrong. I had to smile and go about my day as if everything was OK. I HATED THIS!!! And I still do. I don't like pretending that everything is all right when it's not. I think that the only reason I could hold so much back was because I didn't want my kids to know. If I was going to stay with their father, they couldn't know something that would possibly destroy their world. I have heard that affairs affect generations, and I was not about to let this affair destroy my kid's lives.
The second night was similar to the first, but I told my husband he could sleep in the bed with me. I have never been able to sleep when he is not with me. Finally I was able to get some sleep. I remember waking the next morning, realizing I was still living my biggest nightmare, and immediately crying. I remember my husband looking at me and I saw in his eyes that he was just starting to understand all that I was going through. It's moments like these that I was thinking of when I knew he couldn't leave. He would have missed seeing my broken heart that morning.
After the kids went to school, I was praying for some kind of peace, and asking my Father in Heaven to please comfort me. I'll never forgot how I received my answer. I happened to open Facebook. I was hoping seeing what was going on in the lives of others would help me get my mind off of my own situation. There was a message for me. What? Nobody EVER sends me a message via Facebook. I opened it. It was a message from a man my husband had taught while on his mission. I have never met this man. I am just "friends" with him on Facebook. This man was just a boy when my husband taught him. My husband says that from day one he was very faithful. He has stayed strong in the church, taught his whole family the gospel, and is now serving as a bishop. That morning, his message was very simple. He said, in broken English, "Hi! I love our family. I speak no English. I'm sorry. I was baptized by your husband. A big hug to love you, that the Lord continue to bless you." What??? Did I read that right? How on earth could someone half a world away know right then that I needed to hear just the message he sent me? There was no way he could know of the turmoil going on in our home. At that time, there were only a handful of people who knew of the situation. HOW ON EARTH??? There is only one answer. I knew in that moment that my Heavenly Father was aware of me and my needs. He was able to answer my prayer because there was one person on earth who listened to the spirit, and followed a prompting. I wrote this reply, "Thank you so much! I hope you can read this. you are an inspired man. Your message gave me hope and filled my soul with light when I so needed it! We think of you often, and we love you too! May the Lord continue to bless you and your family!" What happened next is too personal to share, but he wrote another message to me. This second message is more inspired than the first. Some of the things he said coincide exactly with my patriarchal blessing. The only way to describe it is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Savior and Heavenly Father are REAL!!! They are aware of us and are waiting to bless us. I will be eternally grateful for a righteous man who took the time to listen to the promptings he was given and follow through with them. He still doesn't know exactly what I was going through at the time, but I hope he knows how much I appreciate him!
We all have promptings throughout every day of our lives. What do we do? Do we act on those promptings? I expected to hear the Holy Ghost whisper softly to me to comfort me. Never did I expect to have my prayer that morning answered by someone who had not been told of my circumstance, who was halfway around the world! Our Savior needs us to listen. He needs us to pray for guidance continually. He needs us to look for those around us who we can help. We are His hands. We can do great things if we will only listen! I have been blessed countless times these last few months by those who have listened to the promptings given to them, and I will always be grateful for them. Never did I expect my testimony of my Heavenly Father to be so strengthened during this trying time. He is real. He hears our prayers. He is waiting to bless us if we will only open our hearts to Him and tell Him of our needs.
I must say, I have been humbled by this experience. I have learned so much, but the best part is that I have had my eternal companion by my side the entire time. He has been totally open to me and I have tried to stay open to him. I love him, and together we are happy, so happy!!!
-The Wife
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